It all started July 2nd, 2013

I went for an orientation to learn about gastric bypass surgery.  Together with my doctor we decided that this might be just the thing for me.  I went through some basic testing, sleep apnea, an endoscopy, plus all of the normal testing.  Met with a dietitian, a social worker and a nurse practitioner. Then I waited…..and waited.  I finally got my call to meet with the surgeon in Ottawa.  January 7th I met Dr. Neville.  We went over what would be happening, what I could expect, the usual.  Then more waiting. The waiting stopped last Thursday.  I got my call.  My surgery will be May 15th.  I'm super nervous, but excited as well.
I don't think I worry about the normal things that I should be worrying about.  Most people worry about the actual surgery.  I'm not worried about that.  I'm worried about making it through the 3 week optifast shakes that I have to do to shrink my liver.  My theory on that is that if I could go 3 weeks without food, wouldn't I have tried that already??  I worry that after surgery I won't be able to get up and walk to the bathroom alone and that Brett will have to help me to the bathroom (ummmmm NO).  I worry that I will be a baby.  Brett keeps telling me that I'll be fine, I did bounce back from 2 c-sections without any issues. I worry about making Brett taking to much time off of work all because I won't drive to Ottawa myself.  I worry that I will get the poops at work. I worry that I'll be sick more often. I worry that I won't be any fun if I can't drink with my friends. I worry that I'll lose my friends.  I worry that I won't be the same person, what if I don't like me?  What if I go through this all and it doesn't work.  Then I think, but what if it does work.  What if I can go to a theme park with my kids and have as much fun as they do, instead of being the bag holder.  What if I can walk that theme park without having to take a ton of breaks to rest.  What if I can sit in a lawn chair without worrying if it will break. What if I can go to a restaurant and not worry about whether my butt will fit in the chair or not.  What if my knees stop aching.  What if I could go swimming with my friends.  What if I can go to the movie theatre and not worry about sitting a little sideways through the whole movie so I don't feel like I'm squishing the person next to me.  What if I can be in the pictures instead of just taking the pictures. What if I could stop hiding from people that I haven't seen in a long time 'cause I don't want them to see what's because of me.  What if I could go with Brett to some of his work functions and not feel like I'm embarrassing him (and no he has never said anything like that, he loves me no matter what size I am) I won't even get into all of the what if's that are to personal to share.  But know that there is a long list there as well.
Lets see what will happen…..shall we.