The Uniform

Well I knew this day would come....I try to hide from it but it always comes back to bite me in my robust ass!

Yesterday a lady looking something like this
came to fit us for our new uniforms.  A long while back we had to go get measurements taken and she was now bringing them to see how they fit.  The first thing I noticed was the fact that there wasn't a bag with my name on it.  Hmmmm.....I tried to trick myself into thinking that maybe they weren't going to make the leadhands wear uniforms....stupid girl I am sometimes.  The first person to go slipped into her uniform and well lets just say I was not impressed.  The shirt looks like something a sushi chef or maybe a karate instructor would wear.  The material was also very stiff.  I started to perspire....was I going to have to wear this???  I paced.  Then she calls me in.  "Can you try this on please"?  She hands me a white smock.  Great day to pick to wear my brand new cotton candy pink bra.....sigh.  I go into the bathroom and put it on.  It's to tight around my boobs....it makes me look heavier then I already am. I go out, she fusses around me....she tugs here...straightens there....my chest and face are on fire.  One of my co-workers is standing beside me trying to make me feel better.  It's not working.  I promised Kim I wouldn't cry in front of this women (I kept my promise, but it wasn't easy).  She says I can get it a size larger if I would like....yes please....will mine be white?  Oh no it will be the same as the others, we just didn't have a grey in your size.  They also didn't have pants or a sweater in my size.  Ummm I thought you took my measurements for that purpose...oh you didn't get mine....???? Anyway this is something what they look like.....and they tell us they are good for all body types (this is what skinny bitches say when they want fat girls to wear something out of their comfort level).

and this is on one of the average sized girls.  It's hideous.  The pants, which you can't see, aren't to bad.  That top is awful. 

Needless to say the whole thing has sent me into a tail spin.  Now you poor people who dare to come visit here will have to be subject to my whining.  TURN BACK NOW.....YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

SHHHHH....don't tell anyone....I'm a fat girl.  Like no one is aware of that.  I hate being fat, yet I really enjoy food...and I'm lazy.  I work all day and the last thing I want to do when I get home is exercise.  In fact I'm so heavy now that even thinking about exercising makes me tired.  I'm also afraid.  Afraid of airplane seats that won't fit my ass and seat belts that won't go around me.  Afraid of plastic lawn chairs that might break if I sit in them.  Afraid of car rides that squish me against people 'cause I take up so much room.  Afraid of restaurant booths that I might not fit into.  Afraid of theme parks and water rides. Afraid of movie theatre seats and afraid for the person that has to sit beside me 'cause my largeness falls over into their personal space.  Afraid to eat in front of some people 'cause I know what they're thinking.  Afraid to dance because I feel like people are watching and laughing.  Afraid of clothing stores.  Afraid of halloween and themed dances....there is never a cute costume for a fat girl. Afraid of rejection because you may be disgusted by me.  Afraid of hugs, it's hard to get your arms around me.  Afraid I'll embarrass my friends.  Afraid I'll embarrass my husband.  Afraid I'll embarrass my kids.  Being afraid sucks. I've missed out on so much and will miss out on so much more.  I really didn't want to resort to any sort of surgery but I'm not sure I have any other options.  But again.....I'm afraid.

New Years Resolutions

....do you make them?  I usually try to, but most of the time by the end of January I've forgotten what the resolution was.  This year I think I'll just make one goal.  My goal this year is to become a better spender.  I would say that I'm going to try and spend less, however I love to spend money.  I work everyday and therefore I think I should be able to spend some of that money.  I do need to learn to spend more wisely.  I don't really need to go to shoppers for example and waste money on magazines...with the Internet anything that I think I need to know I should be able to find online.  Make up is another thing I spend to much money on.  I love it, and yet I wear very little of it.  I have very red skin so I wear a foundation/powder to try and even things out and eyeliner are my staples.  When I go out I like to wear some shadow and mascara yet if you ever took a peek in my room you would find tons of lipstick, eye shadows, and different liners.  More then one person could every use and did you know that make up has a shelf life....yeah it does so half of the stuff I have I probably shouldn't be using.  I also have issues with office supplies.  I LOVE them.  So this year I'm going to try and only buy new office stuff if I'm out of something...no Dawn you do not need anymore post it notes, even if they are a super cute colour.  Push pins...well I have boxes in my desk drawer that I haven't even opened yet....and don't even get me started on highlighters.....So that's it for me...spend more wisely.  Sorry Addy this means no more $5 t-shirts from stitches until you grow out of some of the 30 you already have.  I will be pickier about my purchases.
I also have a couple of personal resolutions but I don't think I'll share them....yet.
So did you make any?  Do you think you'll keep them?  Fingers crossed for all of us.

Good Bye Santa

Christmas is over.  The tree is down and all of the decorations are put away.  Everyone has managed to get all of their stuff put away, or it's at least in the room it belongs in.  I love Christmas, but it's very satisfying to have it all cleaned up and put away as well.  
We went to a couple of Christmas/birthday parties, so that was very nice to see everyone.  However a lot of people were sick over the holidays.  So far we have managed to miss it here at our house.  Knock on wood!
Last night we got a ton of snow.  Looks like I will have to shovel a path for poor Leonard or he'll freeze his little bits off.

So here we go again.  A new year and a new promise to myself to try and eat better.  I have a couple of friends who have dropped some weight (and they look great by the way, although I always think they're beautiful thick or thin) and I need to drop some to.  I need to do it for my health not my vanity.  I mean everyone wants to look better, but I'm a prime candidate for a heart attach sitting at my current weight. I have tried everything....counting, journaling, measuring and weighing....nothing seems to really stick with me.  I know I could probably just drop a bit of weight by simply avoiding the food court in the mall.  So that's where I'm going to start.  I need to take a lunch and use the Keruig at work so that I don't have to go to Timmies for my tea.  That will hurt the most I think.  Well that and the ease of buying lunch and not having to make it. I should probably try to move more to, which is hard in the winter.  I hate being outside in the cold.  I guess I could become a mall walker. Hmmmmm....not so sure.

The Christmas Season Begins

December 1st the Christmas season officially started.  Lisa started it off with an ugly sweater party.  I even managed to put something together for Brett and I.  Thanks to my mom who went out shopping for the actual sweaters/vest for me to decorate.  They turned out not to shabby if I do say so myself......I guess maybe I can craft a little if I have to.  I've got my work Christmas party this Sunday, and things just keep going from there.  

Christmas shopping is well under way.  Since the kids have gotten older the shopping is easier in some ways because they ask for so many gift cards you almost don't have to shop.  It's a little sad though because it doesn't look like much under the tree.  

Brett shaved his moustache off.....I think most of you saw it.  It was my doing, I kept asking him to try it because I'd never saw him with out one.  Well after he did it I kindly asked if he could grow it back...thank goodness it didn't take to long.  I didn't mind it, but I must be a girl who likes facial hair. 

With Christmas season on us that means it's also picture season.  Ugh, now I have to be reminded of the weight I need to lose...and I'm just really tired of this battle.  I want to lose weight, but I just really like to eat....a lot.  Fruits and veggies just don't cut it. ~~sigh~~  Anyone know the name of a good liposuction surgeon?!?!?

p.s.  I love that someone left a comment.....don't forget to add your name so I know who I'm blogging for...lol

I really do want to blog....no really.....

Here I go again....I decided I like this format better then the tumblr format.  This one is much more user friendly.

So what's new?  

Season's are flying by...we're well on our way to another Christmas season.  I've actually purchased three gifts.....

My 17th anniversary just passed by.  Brett and I didn't get to spend it together but he did something that mattered even more to me.  My grandfather wanted to go back to his hunting camp but didn't want to go alone.  So Brett took him.  This meant a lot to me and I think it meant a lot to my grandpa as well.  He's a good hubby.  Here's to at least 17 more years.

Kids are back to school.  That's been fun....and drama filled.  Zack isn't keen on school, but he never really has been.  He says that he wouldn't mind school if it wasn't for the homework.  Ha!  Who knew that boys could be just as dramatic as girls.  For those of you that know Zack, you know that he's pretty laid back.  Unfortunately not all of his friends are the same.  I'm trying to stay out of it, but it can be hard.  What's really kind of funny about it is anything that goes on with Zack I have more of a reaction to then he does.  He's like "oh well, no big deal", and I'm like "what"...and in my head I'm wanting to pull a mother bear on some people.....I need to take a cue from him and just relax....let it go.
Addy's in her last year of public school and not impressed, because of politics there aren't any extracurricular activities this year.  So her and her friends feel like they're missing out. I feel bad for them but what can you do? It'll be really sad if their grade 8 year end trip is cancelled due to this.  

My 40 things in my 40's list isn't coming along as well as I hoped....I did get a coach purse...so at least that's one thing off of it.  I'm in desperate need of a hair cut so maybe I'll try and be brave and try something new....bahahahahaha.....

With the colder weather happening I'm starting to miss my friends.  I don't see everyone near as much as I'd like to.   With the days shorter and it being chilly out though I feel like I'm going into hibernation mode.  I just want to curl up on the couch by the fire with a cozy blanket and a good movie or book. I'm going to have to force myself out into the real world at some point again.  Damn!

Maybe some sort of Christmas gathering should be in the works.......but again...everyone is so busy this time of year.....hard to commit to anything...and then there's hunting season.....~~sigh~~ Miss you all....love you all......

....Chicken Shit!!

So.....I made an attempt at "the radical hair change"....and I wimped out.....I tried....and I think I like what she did (I'm still trying to decide)...the girl I went to was very helpful.  She helped me pick some colours to try...but I'm not really sure it's radical.  Maybe I have to work my way up to radical....it has to be colour 'cause I'm not brave enough to cut it....I like my easy breezy pony tail on days that I don't feel like doing my hair...not willing to give that up....not just yet anyway......the girl who did my hair did make mention of blue...purple....anything you want...she said....and when I said am I not to old for those colours...she said never....everything in moderation.....she said the only thing she wouldn't recomend is "porn star blonde"....and she assured me it had nothing to do with my age...but the fact that she's not sure that's a good look even in your twenties!! 

To post or not to post......it's always the question!

First let me start by saying......I sometimes wish I could write these at work.....I totally understand why I can't...but that seems to be where I come up with a really good idea...then by the time I get home, I'm to tired....or I have no idea what I was going to write about.....that's what happened tonight.....I had a great idea earlier today...meant to write it down....or send myself an email so that I would remember....but I even forgot to do that....so it's gone.....whatever it was...it's there no longer.....hopefully it'll come back at another time.  So instead you get this:

What's your take on posting pictures online (I'll leave a little survey to the side)?  I love taking pictures.....everyone knows that...it's a big joke.....I'm ok with it.  When I'm old and trying to remember my earlier years, I'll have all of pictures to remind me what a great time I had and what great people I surrounded myself with.  I don't mind having my picture taken....it's seeing the picture later that I'm not fond of.  This is where the question comes in......does it bother you if people post pictures of you online (I don't mean just me....I mean any pictures)?  Are you ok with some pictures and maybe not with others?  I try to be very conscious of what pictures I put online.  I have certain friends who have rules to what I'm allowed to post (and I follow the rules), if at anytime someone is unhappy with a picture I've put up I take it down immediately.  I don't put the pictures on there to embarrass people....I don't want to be embarrassed.....I put the pictures on because I want everyone to see what a great time I have and what great people I surround myself with.  If I put a picture up of you it's because whatever was happening at the time is something I want to remember.....I don't put a lot of pictures on here....so far the only pictures are either of scenery or myself.....I would like to add others....but to tell the truth I'm not sure how to protect them so for now I'll stick to facebook....or blocking out faces on this.  However always remember....if you find yourself on my facebook page or blurred out on here.....take it as a compliment.....know that someone thinks your special......special enough to capture forever.