Well, I've decided to stay on at the storefront for now. Would I have liked to sign and walk. You bet. But for now it's just not economically possible. Walking away from full time/benefits and a pension is just to risky. It doesn't mean I have to stay here forever. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous that they will just find a different way to get rid of me later. I'm sure that's they're plan. So hopefully I can hold my own for awhile and then leave on my own terms.
I've decided that I"m not going to waste anymore tears or stress on the whole situation right now. I have other more important things to concentrate on right now.
and speaking of that……
I have six more days of opti left. I was surprised that I have been finding it harder now than I did in the beginning. I mean it's great that I have the chocolate ones now. That has made it much easier. But I'm hungrier now than I was in the beginning. Brett and Addy give me trouble and tell me it's because I'm not always getting in 4 shakes a day. Which is true on some days. But like today for instance, I've had my morning shake and should be having another one in about an hour or so. But I'm super hungry right now. My tummy is growling. It sucks.
I'm starting to get a little bit nervous. Not for the surgery part, I'm still not worried about that at all. I'm worried about the after. I was in a good position work wise for being able to take my time eating and really focus on it like they tell you, you have to. But now that I will be back out in the store I won't be able to focus and I won't be able to take as much time as I might need. That makes me nervous. But I work with some great people so hopefully they will be patient. I will just make sure I work extra hard to make up for smaller eating breaks throughout the day.
I'm also getting nervous about hair loss, and being tired all of the time (for the first few months). Once I lose some weight my energy should boost back up….but the unknown is frightening.
I'm also worried that I won't ever be "normal" again (not a word Suzy!!!) I don't want people to stare at me when I'm eating (I know that my close family and friends won't), but you know those casual acquaintances. I know it's all silly things to worry about but hey…….what can I say.
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