I look like I'm melting.....

....no seriously.  That's what it looks like under my clothes.  Shorts are NOT my friend.  I knew there would be saggy sking, but I literally look melty.  My skin sags in a way I didn't know was possible.  I love buying new clothes (much to Brett's dismay...lol) but now it's getting hard again.  I look in the mirror and notice my bat wings.  If I keep my arms too close to my body the skin all wrinkles up.  If I try on a pair of shorts I just stand and stare in horror at the way the skin on my thighs hangs....yikes. I don't dare wear a tank top and shorts in front of anyone but family, and I'm even getting a little self conscious in front of them. I was so excited about Old Forge but now I'm getting all anxious because I might have to put on a bathing suit.  I always told Addy if I lost weight I would go on the water rides....well she is holding me to that.  I bought a bathing suit in Florida that I liked but I've lost about 20 or so pounds since then but I'm afraid to try it on for fear of what it looks like.  Hey now I know this sounds like complaining and maybe it kind of is.  But I don't want you to think of it that way.  Just venting, how about that.  I actually don't mind the way I look in clothes, I will never be a skinny mini but that was never what I set out for to begin with.  In fact I like my curves.  I don't mind that my hips are still big and my boobs haven't lost much.  Take the clothes off or have less of them on and whoa nelly, it is not a pretty sight.  It's a little bit humorous....a little bit.  When I express this out loud to some people their first response is to say "oh that's age".  Fair enough some might be age, but not all.  Ok, ok...I've been trying to excercise, and even lift some small weights.  But I think I could do it every day and from what I've read it's not going to help.  Oh well.....stay tuned for more from the incredible melting woman.

You just gotta shake your head and smile!

So working in the mall you run into all kinds of people.  Sometimes this is wonderful, sometimes.......not so much.  Yesterday while I was walking to get my tea I spotted someone I hadn't seen for a very long time.  I did that thing where I pretend to be in deep concentration and that I haven't spotted them.  Unfortunatley they didn't pick up on my subtle hint.  The exchange went somthing like this:

them:  "Dawn!  Dawn!  Is that you? 

Me: "Oh hi person I barely know 'cause we only worked togther for maybe 6 months over 12 years ago, I almost didn't see you there (yes I saw you I tried to pretend I didn't).

them: "what happened to you?"

Me: "excuse me?" (knowing full well what they are talking about but not liking the tone of voice"

them: "well I mean (in a whispered tone) are you sick or something?"

Me: (are you kidding me?) " that would be or something, I'm not sick"

Them:  "Oh good, you've just lost so much weight I thought maybe you were sick.  How did you lose so much?"

Me: "I had weight loss surgery"

Them: "Oh (with a wrinkle up nose).  Well I guess anyone can lose weight that way"  You must have a ton of saggy skin?"

Me: (getting very flustered by this point) Ummmmm well yeah there is a bit of extra skin.  But I feel good and I'm healthier so I guess that's the important part"

Them: "Yeah I guess.  I would NEVER have surgery to lose weight.  I would just have to buck up and do it on my own.  Will power and excercise".

Me:  (smiling really hard at this point so as not to say something equally as rude or well you know me....cry).  "Well it was nice seeing you ,but I'm on a break and really have to get going"

Them: "Ok, well it was nice seeing you, maybe we can do coffee sometime?"

Me:  "yeah sure (so not happening)"

Now why I'm telling you about this is simply because one of the issues that Brett and I talked about before I had the surgery was if I was going to be honest with people (casual friends/co-workers etc) about what I had done or would I skirt around the issue.  We decided that we would be up front and honest.  If this was something I was going to do then I should stand by my decision and not be embarrassed by choice.  This seemed like an easy choice.  Until you run across people like this.  She doesn't really know me, she doesn't know what I've tried to do to lose weight in the past.  She really knows nothing about me.  I'm all for everyone having a right to an opinion, but I do NOT believe that someone has the right to be so rude about their opinion.  Sometimes I'm embarrassed to say I had surgery, other times it doesn't bother me at all, even if I do get funny looks.  But for some reason this one really bothered me.  Maybe it's because I was purposely being rude and trying to pretend I didn't see her so karma came back and bit me in the ass.   That'll teach me.